As originally presented in V.H.U.S. Volume 37 - June 18, 2015
(Transcript edited for context and clarity.)
I’ve got good news and bad news, my children. The good news, it's Listener Submission Day, so that’s less work for me. The bad
news, you have no one to blame but yourselves.
Let us begin.
Let us begin.
I was reading in the paper today
about this dwarf that lost his wallet and 500 dollars to a pickpocket. How could ANYONE stoop so low? (Devil laughs)
Stoooop! Oh never mind...
What has 6 balls and screws fat women
on welfare?. The lottery!
Fatboy was telling me about his
latest sexual conquest. He wanked all over a blind hooker. According to Fatboy, she never saw it
coming. (Devil laughs)
Here’s some irony for you. Did you ever notice that the disabled toilets
are the ONLY ones big enough to run around in? I'm just sayin'...
Isn't it ironic to see a group of pro-lifers throwing EGGS at an abortion clinic? (Devil chuckles) Stupid bitches, think of all the
wasted omelets! Which reminds me...
What do spinach and anal sex have in
common? If you were forced to have it
as a kid, you'll still hate it as an
adult. (long pause) Oooh, that’s nasty.
Time for one more. Why don’t black
people take their garbage out to the curb on trash day? Because that’s DAD’s job! DAAAAD's job. Yeah it took me a second to get that one,
too.
UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!
Thursday, June 15:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.18!
Monday, June 19:
Flashback: A classic rant from the early days of VHUS!
Thursday, June 22:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.77!
Monday, June 26:
Flashback: Another Vintage Letter To The Devil!
CONTACT US! (Letters To The Devil, suggestions, etc.)
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