Uncle Voted Blue. You Should Too!

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Pretty much says it all, kids.    

The last thing America needs is 4 more years of Trumpkinhead and his Republi-Nazi cultists in control.

If you really don't understand why...  you're basically a fucking idiot.

NOW GO VOTE!!!

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Yes, I know I haven't been around for a while.    Uncle has been busy.

Or was it lazy...    Anyway, it's been a tough quarantine and the pandemic is just barely out of its first quarter.     Trumpy says America is "Turning the corner".    Well... if one thinks in three dimensions - driving your pickup truck over the edge of a cliff is 'technically' turning a corner.   The last corner.

Fortunately, no one in my immediate circle has either contracted or succumbed to COVID-19.   We're hard-core maskers - I'm almost positive that has something to do with it.

Dr. Fauci predicts a long dark winter.   I believe him, and I hope I'm ready.

And I hope the rest of you are as well.    Take care.   Stay safe.   And VOTE!

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Some music tips to get you through - Kid Tested, Uncle approved!

 

BLUE OYSTER CULT -- The Symbol Remains

 

ELVENKING -- Reader Of The Runes: Divination

 

LOGOS -- Sadako E Le Mille Gru Di Carta

 

FISH -- Weltschmerz    (his final album)

 

LA MASCHERA DI CERA -- S.E.I

 

WYTCH HAZEL -- III Pentecost

 

WOBBLER-- Dwellers Of The Deep

 

RING VAN MOBIUS -- The 3rd Majesty

 

FREEDOM TO GLIDE -- SEED

 

Also still alive and well:   

VHUS MIXCLOUD MEMORIAL PAGE !  (Stop by and have a brown ale!)

 






CONTACT UNCLE D.L.!
(I still check the InBox now and then)

Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

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Flashback 2014: The earliest VHUS (Edited for your protection)

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Long time no see!   Hope you are doing well and are fully stocked up on hand sanitizer and toilet paper.

Does Summer's Eve make a hand sanitizer?   Asking for a friend.

I doubt we'll see too much of COVID-19 here in my secluded corner of the Ozarks, but that hasn't stopped the panicked masses from clearing store shelves of everything from hand sanitizer, bleach, germ-wipes, Vitamin C and bottled water.  And booze.

There's much talk of "self-quarantine" - especially the over-60 crowd.

Fuck that!   Uncle has cheesesteak sandwiches to eat, waitresses to harass and lap-dancers to put through dental hygiene school.   (Somehow, the idea of wearing a surgical mask when I pay good money to have Josie or Gemini sit on my face makes poor fiscal sense.)

OTOH: Yesterday was a very good day to SQ: I just got in new albums from Axe, Angel, Bad Dreams, Mangala Vallis and Claudio Simonetti's Goblin, and they made the day just fly by.     Almost makes me wish I had a podcast of some sort to share them with you...

To those of you turning up your collective noses at the idea of a new Angel album - get over yourselves.   It's no "Helluva Band", but I didn't mind it! 

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At long last, the final additions to the  VHUS MIXCLOUD MEMORIAL PAGE !  (for now)

 






Very Edited Uncle Show v.4 (Mar 5, 2014)

Featuring:  

• A letter from a lady trucker  - not your typical woman-driver!
• Another letter from a poor bastard who confiscated his spouse's iPhone.
• A quick tribute to prog rock's Pavarotti (R.I.P.).
• The Devil's debut as host of Track 13.
• Fact or fiction: The Very Heavy Aunt? 

Very Edited Uncle Show v.5 (Mar 19, 2014)

Featuring:

• A demented listener thinks Uncle should sing more.
• Podcast Rule #3: Death and playlists.
• Letter: What the fuck do I have against Ozzy?   (nothing, really)
• Web Dating for Grannies Pt.1: How NOT to take a profile pic!!
• Other people's OKCupid failures.

ENJOY!

--------------------------------

  
Yeah... yeah... yeah... I'm still getting around to rotating episodes in/out of the  VHUS Dropbox Archive.  Note: these downloadable volumes are presented @ 192k bitrate.   Which is why there are fewer of then now than before.

CONTACT UNCLE D.L.!
(I still check the InBox now and then)

Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

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New on MixCloud: Ancient, edited, hysterical Uncle!!

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Finally, a couple of additions to the  VHUS MIXCLOUD MEMORIAL PAGE !

As you may recall... I have never made VHUS Volumes 1-3 available.   Why? The same reason the MST3K guys never reissued their pre-Comedy Channel/KTMA output: They just weren't good enough - especially compared to what came after.   

Likewise, VHUS 1-3 are just too primitive to share again after their initial airings - they don't really suck, but they're riddled with more growing pains than I like to relive.

VHUS 4-7 are a different story.  By v4, we finally started getting our shit together.   We still weren't a full-size 2-hour programme yet (but that was coming soon).   The Devil was making regular appearances.   I was slowly shaking the radio out of my delivery toward something a bit more friendly.   The schizophrenic musical format was responding to medication.   And best all, we had JUST enough listeners for them to start contacting us via wacky letters to "get in on the fun."

Secret: Parts of VHUS 1-7 have been made available before: As "recycled-with-bonus-track" episodes to quickly (read that: lazily) generate fresh episodes containing awesome music that most of you hadn't heard the first time.

And then there were the early rants.   One of biggest request items was a 3-episode arc of super-length rants and raves re: my utter disgust following a brief dip in the internet dating pool.    How to make these commentaries available with 100 mins of accompaning deja-vu?   Resurrect the old "Very Edited Uncle Show" presentation style we tried, tweaked and abandoned around v.30-40.

Perfect!  All the rants, concentrated in capsule form, as well as a peek at the embryonic development of the eventually world-famous, kid-tested, MILF-approved VHUS format.

Two so far, two more to come.  Available ONLY on MIXCLOUD!

 






Very Edited Uncle Show v.6 (Apr 2, 2014) 

Very Edited Uncle Show v.7 (Apr 16, 2014) 

Remember the "News Mood?"   It's earliest incarnation is in there.

Early Letters-To-The-Devil?   They started about this time.

Track 13?   It's more classroom and less comedy club, but it's here too!

VEUS 4 & 5 are in the works.   (Near the back of the line....)

ENJOY!

--------------------------------

  
Soon  (okay, soon-ish) I'll begin rotating episodes in/out of the  VHUS Dropbox Archive.  Note: these downloadable volumes are presented @ 192k bitrate.   Which is why there are fewer of then now than before.

CONTACT UNCLE D.L.!
(I still check the InBox now and then)

Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

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From the Xmas vault: A lost radio chestnut from 1994!

Just a quick note to wish all of you Happy Holy Daze, no matter where you may roam.

It hasn't been a great year for your favorite Uncle, but I managed to survive it.    And like dozens of holiday seasons before, I will also spend this one alone.   (In a way, I'm almost relieved).

------------------------------

The  VHUS MIXCLOUD MEMORIAL PAGE is essentially complete.  I decided not to preserve volumes 1 - 7 at this time.   However... the commentary is JUST interesting enough to perhaps warrant a "Very Edited Uncle Show" type presentation in the future.

At some point after the holidays - as promised - I'll begin slowly rotating episodes in/out of the  VHUS Dropbox Archive.  Note: these downloadable volumes are presented @ 192k bitrate.   Which is why there are fewer of then now than before.

Whilst searching my digital archives for something entirely different, I stumbled upon a "Night Before Xmas" parody I wrote for one of America's greatest rock 'n' roll radio stations way back in 1994.   (KOCD-FM, Joplin.  Long deceased.)   The best job I ever had being poor.

You don't have to know the parties named to enjoy this, but I guarantee that if you spent ANY time in commercial broadcasting, you had an engineer just like this one.    Enjoy!

THE DAYPART BEFORE CHRISTMAS 

'Twas the daypart before Christmas, and all through the station,
Not a damned thing was working, not even the automation.
The affidavits were stacked by the computer with care,
In hopes that Ken’s tummy soon would be there.

The part-timers were nestled all snug in their beds,
Because not ONE wanted to work that night, it was said.
With Ann on the air for her eleventh straight hour,
Ralph kept calling and saying "Low Power".

When out in the parking lot arose such a clatter,
Barb sprang from her office to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Rick ran like a doe,
Just in time to see a faint shape in the snow.

The moon shown brightly on the fresh-fallen snow,
Revealing a set of footprints aglow,
When what to Mel's wondering eyes should appear.
But a gold pickup sagging much in the rear,
With a little old driver with beard gray and black,
Even Mike Chapman knew it must be Saint Jack.

The beep of a pager is the reason he came,
And the complaints on the clipboard he called out by name:
"on R-F, on cart-decks, on Denons and phones!"
"They wouldn't be broken if you'd leave them alone."
"I've no money for parts and no patience to spare,
And fixing the SEDAT is really a bear."

Jennifer hardly believed her ears and her eyes,
As Saint Jack lept from the truck with a cry,
The new guy was pointing and smiling with glee,
As Saint Jack jumped the curb and into the trees.

And then in a twinkling Randy heard on the roof,
The clump of a pair of size thirteen boots.
Uncle looked to Alfred and both drew a frown,
And down the chimney Saint Jack came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his toes,
And the red in his costume didn't stop at his nose.
A fistful of tools he held in each hand,
Except for the one connected to his testicular gland.

The stump of a stogie he held tight in his teeth,
Staining the ever-expanding beard beneath,
He had a long face, and a Kansas sized belly,
That shook when he laughed like he just ate a deli.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf.
Vance and Teddy laughed in spite of themselves.
Bob Laurence said: "They'll not believe this at home"
Ginny was in shock and couldn't answer the phone.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Grabbed a cup of coffee, then turned with a jerk.
Plowing his finger inside of his nose,
then giving a grunt, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his truck, to Micki gave a whistle,
And shot out of the lot like a patriot missile.
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

D.L. Bogart

1994

With apologies to the source material.

 ----------------

And would it REALLY be Christmas with this picture?

(pretty much how I plan on spending the holidays this year)

CONTACT VHUS!
(We still check the InBox now and then)

Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

VOTE BLUE!!!  NO MATTER WHO!

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VHUS on Pod-O-Matic is no more. But we're still out there....

After nearly six years, we've finally closed down our Pod-O-Matic streaming/download site - which we probably should have done 2 years ago when we suddenly stopped producing new episodes.

Yet... VHUS is amazingly still in demand by new fans as well as old listeners who need a blast from the past to cleanse their palates.   So we've established 2 outposts of preservation to satisfy demand (both of which we've mentioned before).

We're slowly-but surely filling our VHUS MIXCLOUD MEMORIAL PAGE . Over 60 classic episodes preserved so far - in 192K stream-ability!   With luck, the entire VHUS back catalog will be available by the holidays.

Also the VHUS Dropbox Archive will remain in service until further notice - only 12 rotating episodes at a time, but at least you can download them...

 

Keep watching this space. 

------------------------------------- 

CONTACT VHUS!
(We still check the InBox now and then)

Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

----------------------------------

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The Last Of Uncle... 3 Very VERY Heavy Halloween Episodes!

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THE FINAL wad of VHUS Encores  - 
our 3 Halloween-ish volumes (20, 46 & 61) have now been posted. 

(Download bandwidth IS limited)

Keep watching this space. 

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Three ultimate Pod-O-Matic links.   Use 'em and share 'em.

<DOWNLOAD VHUS v.20 from PodOMatic>

Our 2014 HALLOWEEN Special!

<DOWNLOAD VHUS v.46 from PodOMatic>

 Our 2015 Prog/Classic Rock 
HALLOWEEN MASQUERADE PARTY!

 <DOWNLOAD VHUS v.61 from PodOMatic>

 THE TOTALLY NEW WAVE UNCLE SHOW!
 HALLOWEEN 2016!

Halloween Volumes 20, 46 & 61 Now Available For Download @ VHUS Dropbox Archive

CONTACT VHUS!
(We still check the InBox now and then)


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
(And try not get anybody pregnant...)




Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.

The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

Visit our VHUS MEMORIAL MIXCLOUD PAGE!
40+ episodes so far - in 192K stream-ability!   (more to come!)

Halloween volumes 46 & 61 also available here!

 

I worked so long on this graphic I felt I should run it one more time before the end.

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