Wednesday, May 24, 2017

It's the all-new VHUS Volume 75! (Sorry about the font.)





















What’s occurring?
  • When it comes to show biz, The Devil ain't no dummy!
  • Uncle D.L.'s Favorite TV MILFs!   (one choice MAY shock you!)
  • Mexican remakes of German comedies: Genius or Madness?
  • The Moog Synthesizer: NOT pronounced like you'd think.
  • Another NSFW "Listener Submission Day" on TRACK 13!
  • What Uncle REALLY did on his last visit to the strip club!
Plus MORE blacklight-powered prog rock, metal, comedy and classic rock obscura!  JOIN US!!



Debut: May 25, 2017

  • Tesla - Little Suzi   [Mechanical Resonance…Geffen]
  • Big Big Train - The Ivy Gate   [Grimspound…English Electric Recordings]
  • Royal Thunder - April Showers   [Wick…Spinefarm Records]
  • Ayreon - Condemned To Live   [The Source…Music Theories Recordings]
  • Billy Connolly - President Of America   [Billy And Albert…10 Records/Virgin]
  • Anubis - Fool's Gold   [The Second Hand… www.anubismusic.com]
  • Magenta - Colours   [We Are Legend…Tigermoth Records]
  • EYE - Searching     [Vision And Ageless Light…The Laser's Edge]
  • Blackfield - Family Man   [V …KScope]
  • The Pre-Fab Four - Daily Nightly   [Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd….Rhino]
  • Blacktop Mojo - Where The Wind Blows   [Burn The Ships…Cuhmon Records]
  • Galley Beggar - Four Birds   [Heathen Hymns…Rise Above Records]
  • Astral Doors - Walls   [Black Eyed Children…Metalville]
  • Steve Hackett & Djabe - The Steppes   [Summer Storms & Rocking Rivers…Cherry Red]
  • Isildurs Bane & Steve Hogarth - Incandescent   [Colours Not Found In Nature…Ataraxia]
  • Cast - Through Stained Glass   [Power And Outcome…Progressive Promotion]
  • Cream - Tales Of Brave Ulysses    [Live Cream, Volume II…Polydor UK]
  • Richard Cheese - Black Hole Sun   [Supermassive Black Tux… https://richardcheese.bandcamp.com]







UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!
Monday, May 29:
Flashback: Uncle's InBox!

Thursday, June 1:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.17!

Monday, June 5:
V.H.U.S. World Series Of Heavy Listeners: May Rankings!

Thursday, June 8:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.76!






Using iTunes? Click to SUBSCRIBE here!   Or SUBSCRIBE using rss2.xml feed HERE.

Send a Letter To The Devil

(Seriously: You need to contact us?  Use this link.)

Grip Of Delusion Radio on Tune-In

(VHUS Saturday Nights! 10PM ET / 4AM CET)







Follow Uncle D.L. on TWITTER!
(Yes, I'm back. No need to make a big thing out of it.)



Monday, May 22, 2017

FLASHBACK: The Worst Of "Letter To The Devil"






Source: Very Heavy Uncle Show v.9
(original debut: May 14, 2014)

Transcript edited for context and readability.


UNCLE: Weston66 writes "I am reading Dante’s Divine Comedy as part of my college coursework. Are there still 9 circles in hell, or is there now a more complex system, perhaps modeled after the DMV?"

DEVIL: HA!! Good one, Weston! The nine circles of hell thing was okay back in the 14th century, sin was easy back then. You basically had a circle for each of 7 deadly sins, throw in spots for limbo and treachery and we were good to go.

But by the dawn of the 20th century, mankind had found so many new ways to be evil bastards, we had to overhaul the entire system, which was a real pain 6o years before computers. Today, hell is simply divided into floors and we’re digging deeper and deeper every year to make room for all the new shit you mortals keep coming up with.

So it’s not necessarily "the worse your sins, the deeper you go?"

That system is just not practical any more. It’s easier to keep all tenants with the same background on the same floors. It also makes sheet change and meal-time much more efficient.

You must be ass-deep in lawyers. So they have what, three or four floors all to themselves?

Try FIFTY. You heard me. 3500 floors in the joint and FIFTY of them are crammed full of suspender-snapping douchbags. We have three floors of child molesters, six floors of drug dealers and we’re slowly adding a ninth floor to the telemarketer wing. We’d be done already, but every time we go to the contractor floor for cheap labor, we can’t find them. I think they’re hiding out with the cable installers. (Devil laughs)

I miss the old Nine circles. I knew where everything was. Now I need a freaking GPS just to find the nurse’s office.

Thanks for writing, Weston. Satan out.


Uncle-Note: As of Friday, May 20, 2017 - the total number of floors in the underworld stands at 3748.   61 of them are fully occupied by former members of the legal profession.




(It's going away SOON!)








UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Thursday, May 25:

Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.75!


Monday, May 29:

Flashback Favorites: Uncle's InBox!

Thursday, June 1:

From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.17!


Monday, June 5:

VHUS World Series Of Heavy Listeners: May Rankings!








Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Still not legal, but very sweet! VHUS Classic Encore 16!





















What occurred in late August, 2014?

  • Uncle D.L. says good-bye to the late Robin Williams.
  • The Devil gets "equal time" to respond to Christian Rock Lyrics.
  • Low-brow humor always scores big in Twitter #hashtag games.
  • Sure, I think Miranda Hart is funny... but I don't want to see her naked.
  • The Devil journeys to Finland to mock one of many Hobbit-obsessed bands.
  • Career advice for wannabe horror-movie mogul Slash.

Plus big heaps of blacklight-powered prog rock, metal, classic rock obscura and caustic commentary. JOIN US!







(original debut: August 27, 2014)
  • Black Spiders - KISS Tried To Kill Me   [Sons Of The North...Dark Riders]
  • Anubis - Dead Trees   [Hitchhiking To Byzantium...Birds Robe Records]
  • Standarte - In My Time Of Dying   [Standarte...Black Widow]
  • Kerry Livgren - Mask Of The Great Deceiver   [Seeds Of Change...Sony Japan]
  • Kowai - Yield   [Dissonance...Kowai Music]
  • Huis - Write Your Name   [Despite Guardian Angels...Unicorn Digital]
  • W.E.T. - Learn To Live Again   [Rise Up...Frontiers]
  • Zodiac - Horror Vision   [A Bit Of Devil...Prosthetic]
  • Manticore - New Foundation   [Time To Fly...The Laser’s Edge]
  • Spiritual Beggars - Sweet Magic Pain   [Earth Blues...Inside Out]
  • Fish - Crucifix Corner   [A Feast Of Consequences...Chocolate Frog]
  • City Boy - It's Only The End Of The World   [The Day The Earth Caught Fire...Bear Family]
  • Battlelore - House Of Heroes   [Evernight...Napalm]
  • Golden Earring – Sleepwalkin’   [To The Hilt...Universal UK]
  • Renaissance - Midas Man   [Novella...Sire/Warner]
  • Mount Salem - The End  [Endless...Metal Blade]
  • Enchant - Under Fire   [Blink Of An Eye...Inside Out]
  • Horisont - Ain't No Turning Back   [Time Warriors...Metal Blade]
  • Alice Cooper - Ballad Of Dwight Fry   [Love It To Death...Warner Bros.]









UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Monday, May 22:
The Worst Of Letter-To-The-Devil!

Thursday, May 25:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.75!

Monday, May 29:
Flashback Favorites:  Uncle's InBox!

Thursday, June 1:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.17!









(Yes, I'm back for a while... but don't expect too much from me, okay?)


(VHUS Saturday Nights!  10PM ET / 4AM CET)



Monday, May 15, 2017

Flashback: Little Bits Of Letters (2015)









Here at The Very Heavy Uncle Show... we get letters.

Long ones.   Short ones.

Curious letters.   SCARY letters.

And on very rare occasions: Threatening letters (usually threatening yours truly with parenthood!).

As necessity is the mother of invention, we had to invent a way to process the most listener mail in the shortest amount of time... thus LITTLE BITS OF LETTERS was born!

Here's an L.B.O.L. installment you probably haven't heard in a while (if ever), originally part of VHUS Volume 44  - October, 2015

(Transcript edited for context and to improve consumption.)


Where do I stand on NICKELBACK?   I can’t believe someone who listens to THIS show could even ask... but... if Nickelback were loitering in the middle of the street and I were behind the wheel of a garbage truck a block away... I’d STAND on the accelerator.

Am I married?  If not, why not?  No, not married.   I’m too much of a free spirit.  And I hate children.   And I'm generally considered to be physically repulsive.   I’m sure there are dozens more reasons.

Your favorite TV MILF is Elizabeth Montgomery?  Really?
Yes.  Really.   What did you expect me to say?  June Lockhart?   That’s just weird.

The Devil told a joke about why baby aspirin are yellow.  I don’t get the punchline.  Nobody I know got it.    Explain.
I believe it was a reference to Asian sweatshops using child labor.  How did you miss that?

I want to buy some of the music I've heard on the show, but I can’t find it on Amazon.   Where did YOU get it?
A not-small percentage of it comes from the artists themselves.   As for the rest, go to the our home page at veryheavyuncle.podomatic.com  and look down that blue sidebar on the right with all the links, most of those links are music labels with good legitimate webstores.   You will ALSO see several specialty progressive rock & metal CD stores - they should be obvious by their labeling.   Go to THOSE places too. Look around.  Do some searching.   And be prepared to spend ALL of your allowance.

Why does Audrey sound like she has brain damage?
Short answer:  Audrey is Irish.   Also her software is buggy as hell.

I want to have a Halloween movie party, but I don’t want any of friends or co-workers inside my house.  Options?     First I can sympathize about the co-worker thing.   The listener doesn't say where say where they're from , so the following idea may or may not be a feasible alternative... 

Question: Do you trust them in your backyard?   Weather permitting, I would suggest getting hold of a digital projector, assembling a basic screen – not that hard - and dressing up your back yard as a pumpkin patch/cemetery/movie theater.   It will take some work, you’ll need to deal with your neighbors, AND it may be too freaking cold where you are by October 31st, but a lot of people are doing this kind of thing since projector prices have come down.   And they generally seem to LOVE it!

You can throw some keywords into Google and come up with several articles on this subject of backyard theaters... I just read a fairly detailed one on How-To-Geek.com  

I host lots of Halloween parties, but I've never tried this.  It sounds ass-loads of fun, if it’s not raining. Or 40 degrees.





UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Thursday, May 18:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.16!

Monday, May 22:
The Worst Of Letter-To-The-Devil!

Thursday, May 25:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.75!

Monday, May 29:
Flashback Favorites:  Uncle's InBox!



.



(VHUS Saturday Nights!  10PM ET / 4AM CET)




Wednesday, May 10, 2017

An old favorite RETURNS to the all-new VHUS v.74!





















What’s occurring?
  • Hallelujah!  Our MOST-requested ex-feature returns!
  • Who came 51st in the last Heavy World Series?   (We're not telling.)
  • Letter-To-The-Devil: Say your name, bitch!
  • Dear Musicians: How NOT to send us music.
  • Track 13: When Blondes go bad!
  • Uncle D.L. takes a vacation from anti-social media.
Plus MORE lava lamp-powered prog rock, metal, comedy and classic rock obscura!   JOIN US!





Debut: May 11, 2017

Rush - What You're Doing   [Rush…Mercury Records]
Lonely Robot – Everglow   [The Big Dream…Inside Out UK]
Fatal Fusion - Astral Fight   [Total Absence…Karisma Records]
Kaprekar's Constant - Hors d'Oeuvre   [Fate Outsmarts Desire…Uranium Club]
Resistor – Arrival   [Underground… https://resistor222.bandcamp.com]
Deep Purple - All I Got Is You   [Infinite… E.a.r. Music]
Maxophone - Il Matto e L'aquilone   [La Fabbrica delle Nuvole…AMS Records]
Mostly Autumn - Only The Brave   [Sight Of Day…Mostly Autumn Records]
Dantalion's Chariot - Madman Running Through The Fields   [Chariot Rising…Warner/Rhino]
Antimatter - Black Eyed Man   [The Judas Table…Prophecy]
Cold Black River – Dystopia   [Ancient Depths… https://coldblackriver.bandcamp.com]
Sunset Nebula - Sang Real   [Sunset Nebula… http://boshik.wixsite.com/sunsetnebula]
Psychedelic Witchcraft - The Dark Lord   [Magick Rites And Spells… Soulseller]
Ghost Community - Rise Up   [Cycle Of Life… ROK Music]
Big Big Train - Summoned By Bells   [A Stone's Throw From The Line…English Electric Recordings]
VIII Strada - Ombre Cinesi   [Babylon…Fading Records]
Lake - On The Run   [Lake…CBS Germany]




UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Monday, May 15:
Flashback Favorites:  Little Bits Of Letters!


Thursday, May 18:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.16!

Monday, May 22:
The Worst Of Letter-To-The-Devil!


Thursday, May 25:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.75!

Monday, May 8, 2017

The VHUS Spring-Cleaning Poll: Final Results!


















After 40 days and nights the VHUS Spring-Cleaning Poll has finally closed.   Overall, I can't say I was TOO surprised by what you told us, but I WAS honestly shocked by a couple of the results.

And when I said: "Your input could very well shape future episodes... 
I meant it!

LOVE IT OR HATE IT?   (% = Love It!)

LETTER TO THE DEVIL................91%  

UNCLE'S SHOPPING BASKET......10%

THE PSYCHEDELIC SNACK..........61%

TRACK 13..................................85%

UNCLE-VISION..........................38%

LITTLE-BITS-OF-LETTERS...........92%


Wow.  I had no idea you guys hated THE BASKET so much.


DEAR UNCLE, PLEASE BRING BACK (or DO MORE):

8-TRACK MEMORIES......................95%

NASTY RANTS FROM UNCLE!..........76%


THE ROUND & SHINY REPORT........40%

PIRATE RADIO MEMORIES.............36%

THE NEWS MOOD............................8%

Confession: I never liked doing THE NEWS MOOD.
Too damned much work.

Thanks to everyone who took part in the poll!







DOWNLOAD our latest episode: VHUS v.73!


More episodes available on our POD-O-MATIC Home Page!








UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Thursday, May 11:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.74!

Monday, May 15:
Flashback Favorites!   Little Bits Of Letters!

Thursday, May 18:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.16!

Monday, May 22:
The Worst Of Letter-To-The-Devil!







CONTACT US!   (Letters To the Devil, suggestions, real job offers, etc.)




  



Wednesday, May 3, 2017

You Begged For It! VHUS Classic Encore 15!





















For our newest listeners: Another vintage episode from the Uncle-Vault!

What occurred?
  • A rudimentary State-Of-The-Podcast Address…
  • The Devil explains why Hell is no longer located at the Earth’s core.
  • How Uncle disc-jockey killed time during baseball rain delays.
  • A misguided listener declares Journey to be "Essential Classic Rock"
  • The Devil exploits Uncle's weakness for hot chicks in tight corsets.
Plus MORE prog rock,  metal, comedy, classic rock obscura AND a Devilish post-credits Bonus Track!   JOIN US!



(Original premiere: August 6, 2014) 

Weird Al Yankovic - Mission Statement   [Mandatory Fun...RCA]
TNNE - My Inner Clock   [The Clock That Went Backwards...Progressive Promotions]
Pathosray - Scent Of Snow   [Pathosray...Sensory]
Jadis - Where In The World   [Understand...Jadis Music]
Ian Anderson – Doggerland   [Homo Erraticus...KScope]
Kamelot - Falling Like The Fahrenheit   [Silverthorn...SPV/Steamhammer]
Pallas - The Cross And The Crucible   [The Cross And The Crucible...Inside Out]
Witchcraft - If Wishes Were Horses   [Firewood...Rise Above]
Demon’s Eye – Ain’t Nothing Better   [The Stranger Within...Supermusic/Alive]
Skogen Brinner - Speed Freak   [Skogen Brinner...Subliminal Sounds]
Gazpacho - Mass For Atropos 1/Defense Mechanism   [Missa Atropos...KScope]
Five-Fifteen - White Lines On The Freeway   [Six Dimensions...Record Heaven]
Theatre Of Tragedy - And When He Falleth   [Velvet Darkness They Fear...Century Media]
Abraxas - Before/Tarot   [Abraxas...ARS Mundi]
Virgin Sleep – Secret   [Single A-side...Decca]
Jess And The Ancient Ones - Prayer For Fire And Death   [Jess And The Ancient Ones...SVART]
Axe - Rock & Roll Party In The Streets   [Twenty Years From Home...Fore Real]















UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Monday, May 8:
The VHUS Spring-Cleaning Poll - RESULTS!

Thursday, May 11:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.74!

Monday, May 15:
Flashback Favorites!   Little Bits Of Letters!

Thursday, May 18:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.16!











CONTACT US!   (Letters To The Devil, suggestions, real job offers...)