Wednesday, July 26, 2017

VHUS: The dead horse of Prog & Metal Podcasting!









As promised, two more factory-refurbished VHUS episodes for your dining and dancing pleasure:


From December 17, 2014:

VHUS Classic Encore v.24, featuring MARILLION, WINTER IN EDEN, WHITE WILLOW, ARCHANGEL, ORCHUS CHYLDE, RED SAND, LYRIEL and more!


DOWNLOAD VHUS v.24 to complete your very heavy collection!





And from just last March...

Our 2017 St. Patricks Day Special: featuring THIN LIZZY, ENERGY ORCHARD, BLACK 47, TEMPEST, HORSLIPS, THE POGUES and a cast of hundreds!


DOWNLOAD VHUS v.70 for the HIGHEST podcast satisfaction available without a prescription!




Amusing observation: It was 2 weeks ago I pulled the plug on VHUS for-good-and-forever... and people are ONLY JUST NOW starting to notice!    Geezus...








One quick note re: our MIXCLOUD page.     

I have ceased maintenance on our MIXCLOUD page due to extremely low traffic.   Yes, the page is still up, and still contains a few of our most recent episodes in dazzling 192k fidelity... but there will be no further postings made to MIXCLOUD between now and December's planned demolition.   I will not apologize for any inconvenience.

 

Till next time,

Uncle D.L.
The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017

CONTACT UNCLE D.L.   (It's e-mail.   It won't kill you.)



Wednesday, July 19, 2017

VHUS: Where everything old is... still old...

Sorry kids, I'm still retired from podcasting.    
And I'm likely to remain retired for the foreseeable future.

But let's continue keeping the dream on life-support, shall we?   Here are two more factory-refurbished episodes for your dining and dancing pleasure:


From December 2014:

VHUS Classic Encore v.23, featuring ACCEPT, THE MIGHTY HANDFUL, THE SHERBS, KNIGHT AREA, THE DEVIN TOWNSHEND PROJECT, LIV KRISTINE and many more!



DOWNLOAD VHUS v.23 to complete your very heavy collection!



 
And from just last March...

VERY HEAVY UNCLE SHOW v.71, featuring THIS WINTER MACHINE, TUSMORKE, BEARDFISH, THE WOUNDED KINGS, COMEDY OF ERRORS and a cast of hundreds!


DOWNLOAD VHUS v.71 for the HIGHEST podcast satisfaction available without a prescription!




Why the odd sequence?    Some listeners need to pick up older episodes, while others need the newer shit they missed the first time around. This way more people get what they want, and we can all meet in the middle just about the time I need to pull all these digital gems down (December-ish).








If you care... our OLDEST episodes (v.8 through 14, so far) are resting comfortably over on our MIXCLOUD page (streaming only).    Need to download one of those?   Let me know and I'll try to set it up for you.

A few of my podcasting contemporaries have accused me of flogging a dead horse instead of just fading into the sunset.   Fair comment.    Yet, flogging dead horses is what I do.   And I'm fairly good at it - you should see my honeymoon videos.

Till next time,

Uncle D.L.
The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014-2017

CONTACT UNCLE D.L.   (It's e-mail.   It won't kill you.)






Thursday, July 13, 2017

Stand by for... NEWS!!


If you're under 40: The title is a Paul Harvey joke.

If you live outside the USA: The title is a Paul Harvey joke.

Paul Harvey was one of America's touchstone radio commentators for over 4 decades.   He had a very unique on-air style, but was never as much fun to impersonate as Casey Kasem.    Basically, Paul Harvey was a legend, especially if you were an adult/senior citizen.   

If you worked in radio in the 50's, 70's or even the 90's: Recording the daily Paul Harvey network feed was THE most important job during your airshift.   Everything else was a distant second.

Now that I have you loosened up... you should take a listen to this:

PLAY An Important Message From Uncle D.L.

(DOWNLOAD Uncle's Message Here)

Not much to add at this time, except I plan to fill both the Pod-O-Matic and MIXCLOUD pages with as many old episodes as I can before our "medium-size-server" plan on POM runs out in late November.

To soften the blow, I gave you a double-shot of Classic Encores. 
Expect 2 or more a week until December.

DOWNLOAD VHUS Classic Encore v.22 

DOWNLOAD VHUS Classic Encore v.21 


For the record: I did briefly consider sharing a few of the factors that led to this decision (it was a LONG time in committee), but in the end I figured nobody would really give a shit about MY problems, and you'd simply move on to the next (vastly inferior) podcast in the queue.

If you're the least bit curious, drop me a line.  I'll be happy to vent.



NOTE: Just because we've ceased production doesn't mean I want you quit listening/sharing the links!   Overall, I feel we have a damned fine back catalog of episodes - most of which I am VERY proud of.   And I'd love for as many people to hear them as possible before I'm forced to tuck them away forever.

It was fun (mostly),  and I thank each and every one of you for your time, your ears, your bandwidth AND your interest in VHUS.   Bless you all.

Uncle D.L.
The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017 







Thursday, July 6, 2017

VHUS Classic Encore 20: Our Very First Halloween Special!

If my asshole neighbors can set off nuclear-grade fireworks till 2:00 AM FOUR NIGHTS IN A ROW before (and one night AFTER)  the Fourth Of July... then yours truly can declare it Halloween-In-July!   Deal with it...





















What occurred in late October, 2014?
  • Slutty Halloween costumes! 
  • The scariest movie The Devil has ever seen! 
  • What your new landlord WON'T tell you.
  • The Americanization of BROADCHURCH.
  • The very first "officially funny" TRACK 13.
  • A creepy Italian kid named Bob!
Plus MORE jack-o-lantern-powered prog rock, metal, comedy and classic rock obscura. JOIN US!

DOWNLOAD VHUS CLASSIC ENCORE 20 
(available for a limited time only!)

More episodes at the VHUS Home Page @ Pod-O-Matic!


The Very Heavy Uncle Show – Volume 20 

(Original Debut: October 22, 2014)
  • Blue Oyster Cult -- Career Of Evil   [Secret Treaties...Sony/Legacy]
  • Amplifier -- Named After Rocky   [Mystoria...Superball] 
  • Black Sabbath -- Who Are You?   [Sabbath Bloody Sabbath...Sanctuary] 
  • Bloodrock -- Gimme Your Head   [Bloodrock...One Way/Capitol] 
  • The Oath -- Night Child   [The Oath...Rise Above]
  • Orange Wedge -- From The Womb To The Tomb   [Single A-Side...Arf! Arf!] 
  • Evergrey -- A New Dawn   [Hymns For The Broken...AFM]
  • Northwinds -- Mask Of Satan   [E Tu Vivrai Nel Terrore...Black Widow]
  • Starz -- Pull The Plug   [Starz...Metal Blade] 
  • Richard Delvy -- The Green Slime    [Monster Rock ‘n’ Roll Show...DCC] 
  • Threshold -- Watchtower On The Moon    [For The Journey...Metalville] 
  • Doro -- Always Live To Win    [Fight...Steamhammer] 
  • Black Oak Arkansas -- Uncle Lijiah    [Black Oak Arkansas...Sequel/Castle] 
  • Iron Maiden -- Murders In The Rue Morgue    [Killers...Sanctuary] 
  • Dennis Leary -- Heavy Metal Suicides    [No Cure For Cancer...A&M] 
  • Morte Macabre -- Apoteosi Del Mistero    [Symphonic Holocaust...Mellotronen] 
  • Blood Ceremony -- The Great God Pan    [Living With The Ancients...Metal Blade] 
  • Alice Cooper – Clones    [Flush The Fashion...Warner Bros.] 
  • Tarja -- Poison    [My Winter Storm...Vertigo] 
  • Admiral Sir Cloudsley Shovell -- Running From Home    [Check ‘Em Before You Wreck ‘Em...Rise Above] 
  • Uriah Heep -- Blind Eye    [The Magician’s Birthday...Sanctuary UK] 
  • Daemonia -- Dawn Of The Dead    [Dario Argento Tribute...Sony Italy]







SUBSCRIBE!!   GooglePlay!   iTunes!!    RSS2!!!


IMPORTANT NOTICE: 
As of this writing, ALL future dates are tentative.

Why?    What was first thought to be a minor computer glitch exploded into catastrophic I.T. failure, throwing big fat greasy wrenches into every computerized aspect of the program.

Good News: We are such huge backup whores we didn't actually lose anything.

Bad News: Our software and remaining hardware remain mostly in shambles, and our recovery is being hindered at every opportunity by big fucking truckloads of Murphy's Law.  And Microsoft (WORST tech support experience ever!).   And don't get me started on FIREFOX... jeezus...


OUR SHAKY SCHEDULE OF UPCOMING SHITE:

Monday, July 10:
Flashback: The Worst Of Track 13!!

Thursday, July 13:
Premiere! All-new VHUS Volume 78 (fingers crossed)

Monday, July 17:
Flashback: Uncle's In-Box!

Thursday, July 20:
Flashback: VHUS Classic Encore 21!




CONTACT US!   
(Letters To The Devil, Offers Of FREE Computers, Lingerie Pics, etc.)

Follow us on TWITTER!
(Don't expect too much from us for a while, we're kinda busy...)



Monday, July 3, 2017

VHUS World Series Of Heavy Listeners: JUNE Rankings!




















It's that time again kids...

The JUNE 2017 rankings in the V.H.U.S. WORLD SERIES OF HEAVY LISTENERS!

(Rankings based on total streams and downloads only.   USA not included.)

1    United Kingdom
2    France
3    Canada
4    Brazil
5    Japan


6    Spain
7    Belgium
8    Germany
9    Australia
10    The Netherlands


11    Finland
12    Russia
13    Latvia
14    Ireland
15    Sweden


Well done everyone!

DOWNLOAD VHUS Classic Encore 19 
(available for a limited time only!)

DOWNLOAD VHUS Volume 77

More episodes on the VHUS Home Page!

 

UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!

Thursday, July 6:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.20!
(New episode postponed one week - We're on holiday!)

Monday, July 10:
Flashback: The Worst Of Track 13!!

Thursday, July 13:
Premiere! All-new VHUS Volume 78 (IF we feel like it)

CONTACT US!  (It's e-mail.  It won't bite you.)

TWEET US!    (This MIGHT bite you.)


 

Yanks: Have a safe, burn-free 4th Of July!

The Rest Of The Planet: Enjoy your sane leaders, stable economies and Universal Health Care! 



 

Thursday, June 29, 2017

VHUS Classic Encore 19: The Blonde Paint Joke





















What occurred back in October, 2014?
  • Unpredictably bitchy listeners!   We got 'em!
  • Halloween party tips from The Devil!
  • Uncle D.L.’s 8-Track Memories: The Prototype!
  • Losing your sense of smell = Uncertain death!
  • The Blonde joke that changed TRACK 13 forever!
  • A guy-with-a-cabbage-for-a-head!
Plus more incense-fueled progressive rock, metal, comedy and classic rock obscura!   JOIN US!







__________________________________________________________

The Very Heavy Uncle Show – Volume 19
(Original debut: October 8, 2014)
  • Def Leppard -- Let It Go    [High ‘n’ Dry…Vertigo]
  • Opeth -- Eternal Rains Will Come    [Pale Communion…Roadrunner]
  • Grand Funk Railroad – Paranoid    [Grand Funk…Capitol]
  • Pineapple Thief -- Simple As That    [Magnolia…KScope]
  • Ancient VVisdom -- Never Live Again    [Deathlike…Prosthetic]
  • Blues Pills – Jupiter    [Blues Pills…Nuclear Blast]
  • Fish -- A Feast Of Consequences     [A Feast Of Consequences…Chocolate Frog]
  • Procol Harum -- Repent Walpurgis    [Procol Harum…Salvo UK]
  • Judas Priest – Dragonaut    [Redeemer Of Souls…Sony UK]
  • Iluvatar – Resolution    [From The Silence…10T Records]
  • Richard Cheese -- The Trees   [Silent Nightclub…Surfdog]
  • The Smiths – Panic   [Single A-side…Sire]
  • Riot -- Immortal Soul   [Immortal Soul…Steamhammer]
  • Foghat -- Drivin' Wheel   [Night Shift…Bearsville]
  • Bram Stoker -- Born To Be Free   [Heavy Rock Spectacular…Akarma]
  • Accept -- Losing More Than You've Ever Had   [Balls To The Wall…Epic/Legacy]
  • Strawberry Fields – Fool   [Rivers Gone Dry…Metal Mind]
  • Stone Circus – Mr. Grey   [Stone Circus…Mainstream/Ace]
  • Le Orme -- Squardo Verso il Cielo   [Collage…Philips]
  • Fall Of The Leafe -- A Waiting Room Snap   [Volvere…Rage Of Achilles]
  • Stream Of Passion -- Out In The Real World    [Embrace The Storm…Inside Out]







UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Monday, July 3:
VHUS WORLD SERIES OF HEAVY LISTENERS!! JUNE rankings!!

Thursday, July 6:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.20!
(New episode postponed one week - We'll be on vacation!)

Monday, July 10:
Flashback: The Worst Of Track 13!!

Thursday, July 13:
Premiere! All-new VHUS Volume 78 (IF we feel like it)!













FOLLOW Uncle D.L. on Twitter!   
(Don't expect too much.   I'm cranky.)

CONTACT US!  
(Letters To The Devil, Requests, Job Offers, Upskirt Shots)


Yanks: Have a safe and sane 4th of July!

The rest of you: Enjoy your sane leaders and Universal Health Care.



Monday, June 26, 2017

FLASHBACK: Letter-To-The-Devil... Do animals go to Hell?








Today's flashback was originally featured in V.H.U.S. Volume 11, (June 11, 2014).

The question: One that I'm sure is asked every weekend in every Sunday School on the planet.

Too bad the kids will never get to hear the official answer - straight from the horses' mouth....   (Transcript edited for context and clarity.)

_________________________________________________________________________________

UNCLE: Nasty-Neon writes from Carson City, Nevada. "Do animals go to hell?"      Well? Is there a petting zoo downstairs?

DEVIL: Some animals DO get transferred down below, but it's a MINUTE percentage.   See, no matter what the nature lovers may think, animals are generally without souls.  They function on pure biological instinct.   And when they die, they're gone. I'm one hundred percent sure WHAT happens to all of them.

However, the more intelligent animals are considered to have "rudimentary" souls.  Examples include dolphins, monkeys, cats and dogs, horses too!   And through human contact they eventually develop the key to the soul: A very basic sense of Right and Wrong. Sure it's not a genuine officially licensed soul, but it's close.   And like you pitiful humans, a brainy animal screwing up "Right vs. Wrong" makes all the difference between playing eternal fetch in Heaven and daily neuterings down at my place.


For example... You always see news stories about circus elephants that have performed hundreds of complicated tricks for 20 years, then one day they suddenly go berserk and squash their trainer's head like a melon.   That’s a ticket to Hell’s freight elevator.   We get about 6 elephants a year.  And they poop A LOT.  
And do you remember that trained chimp that ripped off that woman's face and hands?   We got him too.   You think flying monkey shit is bad at the zoo?!?    Heat it to 300 degrees and it's even LESS of a treat.

We also get truckloads of pit bulls and rottweilers.  Chew a little baby to pieces, and yeah you're going DOWN Fido (chuckles)! Your OWNER gets an automatic ticket to the hotbox too.  We get so many killer dogs we don't know what to do with them all.   We used to just dump them at the gates of Korea-Town, but even THEY don’t want them any more.

As for ducks, they're just dicks.    We're ass deep in ducks.

Neon, thank you for writing. I hope I answered your question.   And if you own a poorly trained pit bull, I’ll be seeing YOU soon (Devil laughs).  

UNCLE: Nice.  And for the trivia lovers out there, that mad chimpanzee's name was "Travis", born in Festus, Missouri.

________________________________________________________________







DOWNLOAD v.77 for Maximum Podcast Satisfaction

More episodes on the VHUS Home Page @ Pod-O-Matic





UPCOMING PROGRAMME STUFF!!

Thursday, June 29:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.19!

Monday, July 3:
V.H.U.S. WORLD SERIES OF HEAVY LISTENERS!! JUNE rankings!!


Thursday, July 6:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.20!

(New episode postponed one week - We'll be on vacation!)

Monday, July 10:
Flashback: The Worst Of Track 13!!


(Letters To The Devil, marriage proposals, requests, etc.)