This weeks' top story:
Re: My back. I've now given up hope of ever walking upright again and am slowly adapting to my new name: Quasimodo.
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As I'm sure most of you have noticed, VHUS is currently out of bandwidth on our Pod-O-Matic page. No more downloads until May 12th, but you can still stream Encore 19 through the site.
Some of you might be asking: Why don't I just pry open my wallet and buy a big f-ing wad of bandwidth every month?
Lots of answers here:
1) The aforementioned wallet is EMPTY. I don't have enough cash to afford a bad meal in a bad neighborhood.
2) If I were still publishing new episodes on a regular basis, you bet we'd have bandwidth to burn. But I'm not. Sure, I'm THINKING about a return to "regularly-scheduled-programming" but until that happens, I can't see spending the cash.
3) 15Gb free POM flow per month doesn't sound like much, but surprisingly, 15Gb not only keeps the brand name alive - it still brings in new listeners almost a year later.
UncleBrag: NOTHING gives me greater pleasure than to look at the POM statistics and see a 3½ year old VHUS rerun knock aside a dozen brand-new podcasts to take the #1 Metal position THREE days in row.
It brings a tear to my eye, as well as proving that Quality almost always beats out Quantity. (That is, until the bandwidth runs out.)
But there IS an alternative to Pod-O-Matic. Sorta...
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Last week I snuck in a secret link to the prototype VHUS Archive @ Dropbox. The VHUSDB currently contains 18 of our "better" episodes available for individual download or streaming via the Dropbox preview player. I hope it can help fill the lonely gaps between POM dry spells.
It's bare bones at best, but it gets the job done. There's also a text file in there to tell you a wee bit about each episode (or you could just search this blog). I'll change out the content from time to time. Enjoy!
VHUS Archive @ Dropbox
STREAM VHUS v19 @ Pod-O-Matic
CONTACT US!
(We still check the InBox once in a while)
Thanks for listening!
Uncle D.L.
The Very Heavy Uncle Show
2014 - 2017?
And finally, from the family archives, a story about my first crush.
From a time before my conception until my first Uni degree, my father's family had a cast-in-stone Thanksgiving tradition: Turkey Day with "The T's" - my grandparents' oldest and dearest friends. LOADS of fun, seriously. I always looked forward to it.
As tends to happen, "The T's" had children... and grandchildren. Notable amongst the latter was Patty. She was 2 years older than Uncle, and I firmly believe Patty was the root of my early attraction to older women.
She was a very cute kid, and grew into a STUNNINGLY beautiful teenager (and beyond). Sweet, smart, charming... and capable causing a young man's heart to race out of control. (And send every drop of blood due south - if you follow me.)
I rarely got to see Patty more than once a year despite the fact she lived only 15 miles away, and looking back it was a bloody shame. I haven't seen her since 1998 (funeral), but she was still as gorgeous and beguiling as I remembered her.
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| Face down in the grass. As usual. |
I thought it inappropriate to share a pic of Patty in her "heartbreaker" years, but I did find this one in the vault. That's your favorite Uncle on the ground, with Patty taking up a dominant position (careful now). We appeared to be innocently wrestling in my grandparent's yard. In fact, there were a LOT of pics from that era of us wrestling - including several innocuous panty shots that would probably put me in jail if posted.
This picture seems to encapsulate my history with women throughout my lifetime:
Me on the bottom, ladies on top. And not in a good way. Well sometimes...
In closing: Patty, if you ever find yourself cruising Joplin's KIA Motor Speedway... stop by, knock on the door and ask if I want to wrestle one more time. I wouldn't turn that offer down for a million bucks.
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