Here at The Very Heavy Uncle Show... we get letters.
Long ones. Short ones.
Curious letters. SCARY letters.
And on very rare occasions: Threatening letters (usually threatening yours truly with parenthood!).
As necessity is the mother of invention, we had to invent a way to process the most listener mail in the shortest amount of time... thus LITTLE BITS OF LETTERS was born!
Here's an L.B.O.L. installment you probably haven't heard in a while (if ever), originally part of VHUS Volume 44 - October, 2015
(Transcript edited for context and to improve consumption.)
Where do I stand on NICKELBACK? I can’t believe
someone who listens to THIS show could even ask... but... if Nickelback were loitering
in the middle of the street and I were behind the wheel of a garbage truck a block away... I’d STAND on the
accelerator.
Am I married? If not, why not? No, not married. I’m too much of a free spirit. And I hate children. And I'm generally considered to be physically
repulsive. I’m sure there are dozens
more reasons.
Your favorite TV MILF is Elizabeth Montgomery? Really?
Yes.
Really. What did you expect me
to say? June Lockhart? That’s just weird.
The Devil told a joke about why baby aspirin are yellow. I don’t get the punchline. Nobody I know got it. Explain.
I believe it was a reference to Asian
sweatshops using child labor. How did
you miss that?
I want to buy some of the music I've heard on the show, but I can’t find it on
Amazon. Where did YOU get it?
A not-small percentage of it comes from the artists themselves. As for the rest, go to the our home page at veryheavyuncle.podomatic.com and look down that blue sidebar on the right with
all the links, most of those links are music labels with good legitimate webstores. You will ALSO see several specialty progressive
rock & metal CD stores - they should
be obvious by their labeling. Go to THOSE
places too. Look around. Do some searching. And be prepared to spend ALL of your allowance.
Why does Audrey sound like she has brain damage?
Short answer: Audrey is Irish. Also her software is buggy as hell.
I want to have a Halloween movie party, but I don’t want any of friends
or co-workers inside my house. Options? First I can sympathize about the co-worker thing. The listener doesn't say where say where they're from , so the following idea may or
may not be a feasible alternative...
Question: Do you trust them in your backyard?
Weather permitting, I would suggest getting hold of a digital projector,
assembling a basic screen – not that hard - and dressing up your back yard as a
pumpkin patch/cemetery/movie theater.
It will take some work, you’ll need to deal with your neighbors, AND it
may be too freaking cold where you are by October 31st, but a lot of
people are doing this kind of thing since projector prices have come down. And they generally seem to LOVE it!
You
can throw some keywords into Google and come up with several articles on this
subject of backyard theaters... I just read a fairly detailed one on
How-To-Geek.com
I host lots of Halloween parties, but I've never tried this. It sounds ass-loads of fun, if it’s not raining. Or 40
degrees.
Thursday, May 18:
From The Vault: VHUS Classic Encore v.16!
Monday, May 22:
The Worst Of Letter-To-The-Devil!
Thursday, May 25:
Premiere! The all-new VHUS v.75!
Monday, May 29:
Flashback Favorites: Uncle's InBox!
(VHUS
Saturday Nights! 10PM ET / 4AM CET)
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